Let’s all just beat ourselves over the heads with this election bullshit a little bit more. Let’s keep doing it for two more weeks until we can race to our local churches, knock down some old people in our haste to vote, and wear that dumbass sticker that they give you as you walk out the door. “I VOTED”
I’d rather have a sticker that says “OUR ELECTORAL PROCESS IS FUCKED UP!”
It’s time for fashion smackdown number two, where we take a look at Mitt and Barack’s neckwear. I’ve noticed a trend recently, during the debates at least – Mitt wears red, Obama wears blue. HOW FUCKING PREDICTABLE. I mean, let’s just put a donkey hat on Obama and an elephant hat on Romney, why don’t we??
Case in point:
And here again, same dance, different tune:
I do give Obama a very slight edge on tie choices – believe me, I’ve looked at lots of pictures. He tends to go for a little more snazz on the pattern and slight variation of shade. However, Mitt has decided to make the the blogosphere go crazy with his choice of lapel pin. You heard me, LAPEL PIN.
Everyone’s all like, “OOOOOHHHH, WHAT’S THE DARK SPOT ON HIS PIN?” and yes, this has taken up people’s time and energy since they actually Googled it. I will tell you what the damn spot is. It’s a Secret Service lapel pin, which puts some kind of gem in a small star right in the middle of the American flag. It’s not a booger. Although that would be way more interesting.
I have to give Mitt a little credit for trying something new. I know it’s wishful thinking to say he should have come out for one of the debates with an actual American flag necktie. Now that would have taken some balls. Speaking of balls, here is one of the more interesting ties Romney has worn during this election season. I believe this was during one of the Republican candidate debates:
I really think the textile choice was a good one for Mitt. I bet the other candidates were quite intimidated by the small penises glaring at them from his necktie, like YEAH THAT’S RIGHT, I’M A PRO-LIFE BABY MAKER, BITCHES.
For the necktie fashion smackdown, I’m a little disappointed in both Obama and Romney. They played it very predictable. What’s it gonna take for a presidential candidate to come out on stage in a necktie like this?
I’m so sick of all the red, white, and blue ties it makes me want to eat my toenails. If someone strolled out in green or purple or something a bit more FORWARD, I would be captivated. They might even score some voting poll brownie points. Shallow, but true. And if Romney had the gumption to come onstage for a debate in this outfit, I might have even written him a love letter:
So because this smackdown is in a dead heat, we are going to go with the tie-breaker right here, where Obama bitch-slapped Romney with his necktie and then bent him over the podium and shoved his American flag lapel pin AND a bayonet right up his bunghole.
I mean, come on. BEST MOMENT IN THE WHOLE DEBATE.
Piper was on the floor, hooting with laughter.
Barack, you win this fashion smackdown.