I bet you there’s millions and millions of bloggers out there who are desperately pecking away at their computers, feverishly writing about the upcoming presidential election and hoping their highly informed opinions will be read by TONS OF PEOPLE and then they will find their fifteen minutes of fame by being the person that says something new or witty or original about Barack or Mitt and then gets invited for an appearance on the “Today Show”.
That’s not me.
I actually just wandered up the stairs in my nasty red sweats after folding laundry and watching ten minutes of that Justin Bieber documentary which reminded me I have nothing in common with ten-year old girls anymore. Because Justin Bieber tweets way too much for me.
So my brother-in-law mentioned last night that he read an article where someone was teasing Mitt Rommey for wearing “mom jeans”. Then Paul asked me if I thought he wore mom jeans. Which he doesn’t, of course, because if he did I would buy him jeans every birthday, Christmas, Easter, and Father’s Day until he got the hint.
But that got me to thinking that Paul really didn’t KNOW what mom jeans are if he was asking me that question. My brother-in-law is so awesomely bookish and knows way too much about very scholarly things. Like if there were a TV game show in which a team of contestents could win a million dollars by having one of them answer questions about pop culture, celebrity news, and gossip while the other teammate was questioned on 20th century American Literature, details of the Bible, and questions about ancient Middle Eastern civilizations, Piper and Paul would KICK ASS AND TAKE NAMES.
We would sooooo win.
So last night I explained what mom jeans are, which I’m pretty sure he understood because he said MY MOM LOVES THOSE KIND OF JEANS.
Then I encouraged him to use his Ph.D. dissertation writing time to find the old SNL commercial Tiny Fey wrote about those horrifying pants from
hell JC Penney. But since I love him so much and I would rather him finish writing his 500-page beast, I found the video for him! Here is the link if you’re interested.
Anyhoo, the whole Mitt Romney/Mom Jeans question brought me to a fabulous conclusion that Mitt and Barack need a series of fashion smackdowns (to go along with their debates), which I will gladly do right here on Her Ace in the Hole. You may THINK you know who will I will automatically deem the winner, but I want to remind you I am an unbiased and fair as well as extremely shrewd and judgemental purveyor of men’s fashion. Seem contradictory? That’s right, bitches. I’m a Libertarian.
Tonight’s category: PRESIDENTAL CASUAL
I’m going to search some images of both Mr. Romney and President Obama in their denim finest. But I need your help. Let’s decide who is the most fashion-forward of the two, thereby earning a small chance of earning a few more votes from the loyal readers of Her Ace in the Hole. Because we’re Americans, right? AND WE ARE SHALLOW THAT WAY.
BARACK ROCKS THE JEANS
Pulled up a little high here, Mr. President. A little high.
MITT THINKS THE JEANS FIT
I sort of want to comment more on Ann’s dress here. But I’m restraining myself.
I saved the best for last. I mean, this just screams WTF!!! I love it. I love his pose. I love his mom jeans. He is ROCKING THOSE BABIES.
OK, so now it’s time for you to vote. Because I’m very, very tempted to call it a tie since they both wear their jeans way too baggy and they both seem to like really horrible belts. I mean, these guys can AFFORD BETTER. Calling on the stylists. I would love to get both of these dudes into a dressing room. Seriously.
Call me, Barack.