My dad brought a bunch of old pictures to give me when he was here two weeks ago, and for some reason I ended up with this one of my cousin Missy and an old boyfriend of hers.
I kept texting Missy – yes, after a few glasses of wine - telling her I wanted to send her a picture of something. Since she doesn’t have a phone with photo viewing capabilities, (sidenote: WHAT THE FUCK. YOUR HUSBAND IS A COMPUTER PROGRAMMER FOR INTEL.) I have decided I will just post the old thing here on my blog.
Cousin Missy has offered to go to Australia with me, which is on my bucket list. I would love to travel with Missy. We could earn extra beer money beating unassuming dudes at pool in Australian pubs, laugh about who stinks up the hotel bathroom the worst, and eat cheeseburgers for breakfast. Missy suggested we tour around Australia in custom-made t-shirts which have a naked picture of us together when we were three years old.
I have a better idea. I think we should have t-shirts printed up with THIS picture on them, and for the caption we will say,
“I DATED DIRK DIGGLER. I KNOW YOU’RE JEALOUS“
I’m glad my family members have a sense of humor, because sometimes I wonder what the hell else would I write about on this website since I don’t have dogs and I don’t like Rush Limbaugh.
PS – Missy, can we fly first class?