This past Saturday, a friend of mine had a “Pretty in Pink” Valentine’s party for girls only. She did up her house with pretty paper hearts hanging all over cool branches, tons of chocolates, cheese fondue, and cardboard cut-outs of Edward (the vampire) and Fabio. No, not Fabio from Survivor, the one from romance novel covers. OH….and lots of pink cocktails, red wine, blush wine, champagne…
It was so much fun.
It was actually one of the best times I’ve had since the depression has lifted. Couple that with the fact that sometimes champagne works its magic and makes me feel larger than life. It was also good to see some girls that I hadn’t seen in a long, long time. I am lucky that my friends were forgiving about my champagne magic. Later that night I got a little heavy-handed, if you know what I mean. You know, grabbing butts and boobs, careening around, laughing REALLY loud and doing the dirty dog with the poor cardboard cut-outs. Um, and my girlfriends.
To all those concerned, I’m sorry I humped you. Especially you, Fabio. You got the worst of it.
Didn’t I say just last week I was going to stay on the down low??
Here is the hostess of the party –
She is a yoga instructor and such a kind person. So calm. I marvel at that, and one day I heard her mention doing yoga with her kids. I thought to myself that is probably a much better parenting strategy than hollering at them about ripping your curtain rods off the wall. We laughed our faces off about how last week I fell asleep in her yoga class. I was kneeling. With my head laying on a chair. And snoring. WHO DOES THAT??
This is the hostess’ booty:
I had to take a picture of it because I was so jealous of how it looked in those jeans.
The night started off relatively tame, with good snacks and good conversation. This is when we take our pretty pictures.
And before I go on, I just have to mention what wonderful people all these women are. Everyone is so special and interesting and caring. I felt, and feel, really grateful to have people in my life like this…people that if you needed something, if you were freaking out or if you have an emergency, you can call. It sounds corny, but I’m having one of those moments.
Now, as the night shifted into the later hours, it was one of those times when you lose all track of time because you’re having way too much fun. Like in a casino. Well, at least I have fun in a casino. The time warp happened because we were all drinking a lot of these:
But not one single time did I see any lady put her mouth right under this . I was kinda tempted.
That is some ladylike restraint, I must say!
Then I started coaching this friend on her best picture angle. You know, just like Tyra Banks in America’s Next Top Model. Except I’m not getting paid for these tips. She was working it. She followed directions. You go, girl!
Now we come to the time when the iPods get plugged in and we move to the dance floor. Which happens to be the center of the living room. Our kind hostess even moved the couch out of the way. Brad thinks this dynamic between women is SO strange. He says that when the conversation starts to lull between men, they just start doing whiskey shots. We hump each other instead.
I vaguely recall some songs by Pink, Kesha and Violent Femmes, and I also think I remember us shouting up towards the ceiling, “YOU DOWN WITH OPP?”
YEAH, YOU KNOW ME!
I was hoping the hostess’s kids were upstairs asking, “Daddy, what is OPP?”
Now things start to turn a little. But I mean that in the sense that THINGS ARE GONNA GET GOOD.
Do you see that blank look in my eyes? That means the shitstorm is a brewin’. I’m feeling no pain.
Shortie got low, low, low low low low low low…YEAH! I could never look that hot pulling that move.
and WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WITH THOSE GRAPES?? At the time, I thought this was really funny.
At the end of the night, poor Fabio was really exploited. And I showed off my extremely long tongue with a porn star-like sensibility.
I got it from you, you know. Not the licking of cardboard or humping of friends. The length of the tongue. As you can see, I am extremely concerned about embarrassing myself.
The next day, I pretty much felt like this:
And even though this weekend I somehow ended up with an unexpected chipped tooth and a very expected hangover, it was all worth it. Sometimes that’s the price you pay for fun.