UPLIFTING DAILY REMINDER TO SELF:
Piper, you do not need to buy these items every time you stop at a grocery store or gas station.
Even though they are tart and deliciously good, they are unhealthy. They have chemicals and artificial colors like carnauba wax and malic acid. They will rot your teeth. They will only lead you skipping down the path to a bigger and fatter ass.
You should be carrying raw almonds or dried cranberries or sugar-free gum in your purse just like all those other healthy people out there.