Our ice machine broke a few weeks ago. So now we have to buy bags of ice at the store and dump them in the bin. I know. Get out the violins. I don’t care, because I am not kidding…this does NOT work for me.
Conversation just now in my kitchen:
Brad (at his computer): “mmm hmmmm.” (not paying attention to me)
Me: “BRAD. WE ARE OUT OF ICE. This does not work for me. This is bad. This makes life hard for me.”
Brad: “mmmmmm hmmmm.”
Me: “I NEED ICE. Not having ice in the house is not good. It makes life hard. It pisses me off. Stupid fucking ice maker.”
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Don’t even mention that I needed the ice for the Skinny Girl margarita. This is my attempt at being healthy during the holidays. And I don’t give two shits that I’m putting dollar bills into Bethenny Frankel’s pockets. YOU GO, GIRL. YOU GET DOWN WITH YOUR SKINNY SELF, BETHANNY. TAKE MY MONEY AND DON’T BUY ANY FATTENING FOOD WITH IT.
You also don’t have to mention that YES, I have parquet floors and YES, I have white melamine cabinets with oak trim, and YES I have an ugly-ass white stove with a back burner that doesn’t work. My kitchen is totally 80’s and it rocks. Just like Bethenny Frankel.