Top Five Moments of My Husband’s 2012 Company Christmas Party:
5. When I decided I didn’t care for the food very much and just drank wine for dinner instead.
4. As the prize raffle started, I became very excited and vocal and chanted for them to draw a number in the 500’s. I think this is also called heckling.
3. One of my raffle tickets was drawn. So I yelled out “YEAHHHHHHH!!!!” from the back of the room like a dude at a Chicago Bear’s game. I performed a victory dance as I hollered “WHOOOOT!!” all the way to the front of the room. And again as I went back to our table. My husband was standing in a buffet line with his jaw on the floor.
2. After my winning production, Brad’s boss asked me if I would like to be the company raffle cheerleader next year. I told him if he paid me $300 I would do it AND dress up in a cheerleader’s uniform with pom-poms. I think I also offered to perform some high kicks.
1. Before we left, I told a very nice woman co-worker of Brad’s how excited I was that he qualified to go on the company trip to Arizona this spring. And then I just had to tell her that we should TOTALLY have a wet t-shirt contest when we are down at the resort. Apparently she is a very good Mormon. She made a good effort at pretending to be as enthusiastic about the company wet t-shirt contest as I was.
I do feel a little bad about all this. But not too bad. Because I’ve been a very good girl for every other holiday party over the last five years. And this Christmas season is a thin hair away from sending me over the mental health edge, so maybe my display allowed me to let off a little steam. Instead of landing me in a dark corner, naked and rocking and drooling as I play with a yard of ribbon.
I know Brad is really looking forward to taking me to next year’s Christmas party.