Sweet Mary, mother of Jesus, my mom has some BANGIN taste!

You never know what she’s going to pull out of her bag of tricks for Christmas.  This year I caught the prize!  My mom gave me a getup that made me feel as if I were channeling David Lee Roth in his heyday.  Or Jersey Shore at their worst.  Or something.  Here’s a glimpse…

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Wow, where do we start?  The glittery threads?  The gold buttons with the bows?  THE CHEETAH HOT PANTS??  I know you want to see more!!

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This is me doin’ my mom proud on Christmas Eve.  I promised her I would wear these pants every day for a week to pick up Beatty from kindergarten.  As long as she lets me borrow that awesome fur vest.

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This must be David Lee Roth dying to come out.  I was a little scared of this picture and the sheerness of the cheetah hot pants.  And have you ever looked at your thighs in hot pants IN A PHOTOGRAPH?  You think you’re doing pretty good with maintaining those suckers, then you catch a glimpse of the picture and you think, “DAMN, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN A RUNNING BACK.”  Never mind that I can’t run very fast.

This present totally made Brad’s Christmas unforgettable.