Sweet Mary, mother of Jesus, my mom has some BANGIN taste!
You never know what she’s going to pull out of her bag of tricks for Christmas. This year I caught the prize! My mom gave me a getup that made me feel as if I were channeling David Lee Roth in his heyday. Or Jersey Shore at their worst. Or something. Here’s a glimpse…
Wow, where do we start? The glittery threads? The gold buttons with the bows? THE CHEETAH HOT PANTS?? I know you want to see more!!
This is me doin’ my mom proud on Christmas Eve. I promised her I would wear these pants every day for a week to pick up Beatty from kindergarten. As long as she lets me borrow that awesome fur vest.
This must be David Lee Roth dying to come out. I was a little scared of this picture and the sheerness of the cheetah hot pants. And have you ever looked at your thighs in hot pants IN A PHOTOGRAPH? You think you’re doing pretty good with maintaining those suckers, then you catch a glimpse of the picture and you think, “DAMN, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN A RUNNING BACK.” Never mind that I can’t run very fast.
This present totally made Brad’s Christmas unforgettable.