I love the English language.
Just when you think you know what a word or phrase means, fifty million other people think it means something different.
Don’t ask me why or how I started thinking about “hotboxing” the other day. I have no idea. The way my brain works, I was probably thinking about Tulsa, then I was thinking about college, which means I was thinking about sorority stuff and exboyfriend and this black bodysuit I used to wear, and then for some odd reason my mind drifted to sorority rush…all the dumb skits we did and the rules for talking to rushees, and there you go. Hotbox jumped into my head.
Today’s lesson on Her Ace in the Hole is about the word hotbox. It has its roots in Olde English, circa 1569. A very versatile word. A word you can easily incorporate into your everyday vocabulary. Unless you’re the pope.
HOTBOX (n., adv.) ; HOTBOXING (v.) –
(1) HOTBOX/HOTBOXING: The act of surrounding a rushee with more than two activie members for conversational purposes during formal sorority rush. (EX: Don’t hotbox that rushee! If Eliza and Jennifer are talking to her, wait until one of them leaves before you approach her!)
(2) HOTBOX: Term for the itchy and painful female parts during a vaginal yeast infection; a slang term for an especially delightful vagina to peruse or enjoy during sexual activity – Dude, she has a hotbox.
(3) HOTBOX: Slang name for a microwave. (Ex: Gladys, throw that turkey pot pie into the hotbox! I don’t wanna wait 45 minutes for that fucking thing to cook in the oven!!)
(4) HOTBOX: What a compact-sized car becomes in the summer after sitting in an exposed parking lot for three hours. Do not expect the car to cool off before you arrive home. Fat fucking chance.
(5) HOTBOX: Without a doubt, the state of the the porta-potties that my friend Stacia had to use at Coachella. But maybe she shared one with Paris Hilton.
(6) HOTBOXING: The practice of smoking marijuana in an enclosed space (e.g. a car or, small room, or parents’ closet) in order to maximize the narcotic effect. Greatly enjoyed by people who are typically cheap, especially teenagers who are forced to share one bowl of really bad schwag.
(7) HOTBOXING: The act of farting in empty elevator to leave a surprise for the people coming in. (Ex: Hotboxing Jim Rock with six other lawyers in the elevator was so hilarious! Because everyone assumed it was HIM!!)
(8) HOTBOXING: The act of having rowdy sex in an automobile, thereby fogging up the windows. (EX: Whatever! I can still hotbox! Have you seen how flexible my damn legs are? That’s why he married me!)
(9) HOTBOXED: When one walks into a small office or public bathroom and is blasted by the unruly stench of another’s rank defecation. (EX: I always get hotboxed at Amy’s parties! God, she needs to serve some different type of food. Or buy some air freshener.)
(10) HOT BOX OF ROCKS: A person who is very attractive, yet not very smart.
Hot = Their physical appearance. Box of Rocks = what occupies the place where their brain should be. (EX: What? Oh, I don’t know about John yet. I can’t tell if he’s gonna ever finish college or if he’s just a hot box of rocks.)
PS – Feel free to correct or put additions in the comments section, smartypants.
PPS – OH, and if you can guess which three (4) definitions I made up myself, YOU WILL TOTALLY WIN A PRIZE. That’s it, a FRIGGIN CONTEST.
PPPS – Thank you, Urban Dictionary.