FUNNY SHIT OVERHEARD AT THE GRAND CAYMAN RITZ CARLTON:
“I’d like a strawberry daiquiri. HEAVY ON THE RUM, please.”
“Why the hell did you not put on sunscreen yesterday?? It’s like you’re just asking for some sort of redneck base tan.”
“Mommy, my butt hurts RIGHT THERE!!”
(in the Tiffany jewelry shop) “So…what’s our free gift?”
“Do you have nuts at the bar? I don’t mean nuts like crazy people. I’m sure you have some of those. I mean, like, nuts you eat.”
(on the breakfast patio) “Oh my god!! Did you just see that bird steal a piece of bacon off that lady’s plate?!?”
“WOW. You’re sunburned in stripes. Kind of like a red and white zebra.”
“Ewww. Was that you farting? You just farted on the beach!”
(on the breakfast patio) ”Wow! There’s two cats fighting over food in those bushes! It’s a regular zoo here!”
“Ha ha ha!!! That lady just jumped out of the water and her boob was hanging out!!”
LADY #1: ”That girl has the cutest figure.” LADY #2: ”Who? The girl that’s like TWELVE?”
“Do you need a muscle relaxer?”
I may have said some of these things. Just maybe.
I can pick the ones you said!
I was assuming you pretty much said all of them!
I’m going to venture a guess that the first quote was indeed from you.
Stream of consciousness is a blast! Hope you are having fun!
I LOVE this. WIll you do this every day? I’d like to begin my morning by reading it.