On Oregon, Oyster Shooters and “Relaxation”

Oh dear readers and non-commenters…

How I have missed you!

Life has been a little hectic as we have been jet-setting across the country on the haute couture of airlines, Southwest.  It is always posh and fabulous to be traveling with one six-year old, one 21-month old irritable badger, a portable DVD player, Nintendo DS handheld gaming device, diaper bag, camera bag, cheap stroller, bags of airport food, and plenty of lactose-free milk bottles to go around!  Very relaxing!  And easy!!

It’s hard to use those free drink coupons when you have a baby kicking the seat in front of  you with every ounce of strength she can muster…

Summer is winding down and we just returned home from our family vacation to Lincoln City, Oregon.  We met four other families out there on the coast because we wanted to show off the size of our balls by renting a beachhouse that would hold sixteen people.  Can you blame us for cracking beers at 10am??  Oh…but the sights.  Just glorious.

The reason that I haven’t posted in the two days since we’ve been home is that I am stumbling around my house and piles of dirty laundry with a body wondering why it isn’t getting its regular fix of Bailey’s and coffee.  Or a Seabreeze.  And falling on my knees and thanking baby Jesus that I don’t have to sleep in the same room as Sloan anymore.  Nap, anyone?

Really…it was great to see old friends.  We got lucky on the weather and had sun EVERY DAY, which for Oregon is a small miracle.  I won’t bore you with too many details, but there are a few things worth mentioning…

One of Brad’s best friends from Georgia met us there with his family.  He was Brad’s best man in our wedding.  Kirk, also known as Snoop Dogg or Little Penny.  It was so good to see all of the Flannigans, especially his youngest daughter whom we haven’t spent a lot of  time with.  What a pistol, that little thing!  And we now know that if we ever have any questions about personality inventories and what they mean in the work setting, just ask Snoop Dogg.  HE KNOWS.

And can I just mention that his wife Nancy is one of the MOST photogenic people I have ever known?  Damn her!

One day we went crabbing in a small bay area.  Mike had brought along some kayaks and crab traps.  Beatty had lots of fun torturing playing with the crabs in the bucket until one finally bit him.  Then he felt very satisfied later as he sucked crab meat out of the legs.

We also drove over to Newport for a day.  We made the obligatory stop at the beautiful park with the lighthouse and took lots of pictures.  I was amazed by the beach full of smooth black pebbles – so pretty!  I was doubly amazed by the turd that some person left in the visitors toilet.  Brad made me go look at it…and I swear it was the same length and girth as a Coke can.  That sucker was sitting there in a forlorn state because it WOULD NOT FLUSH DOWN THE DRAIN.  It was that big.  Oh my god.

And I wasn’t the only one to run in the restroom to look at it.

I felt like the friggin Brown family from “Sister Wives” when we descended upon a restaurant in Newport for lunch.  Beatty, being a huge seafood lover, decided that he wanted to try an oyster shooter.  I didn’t remind him that he had already tried a raw oyster when he was three.  He didn’t love it when he was three.

He put a raw oyster the size of a half-dollar in his mouth.  And chewed.  And *urrrrp* – gagged.  And chewed.  *URRRRRP* Gag.  His eyes started to water.  Kirk told Nancy in his Southern drawl, “Back away, Nance…he’s gonna blow!!!”

I told Beatty, “Spit it out.  SPIT IT OUT!”

Beatty spit out a huge mouthful of grey goo into Brad’s hands and we all laughed until tears ran down our faces.

I also have to give a shout-out to the two huge raccoons who tried to climb into the hot tub with me and the girls on our last night there.  WATCH OUT, YOU LITTLE BASTARDS!  I will swat you with a towel!!

Such fun, such great people.  Beautiful time!

And even though school starts on Monday, which I’m STOKED about, I’m not quite sure I’m ready for summer to end.  I’m going to put it off a few moments longer by swimming naked on my new carpet, talking the hubby into a few more vodka & sodas, and admiring my facial sunspots in the mirror.

P.S. – Nicci, where the hell are you in all these pictures?

P.P.S. – Mike, you still need to take a Viagra for that limp “hang loose” sign of yours.