Among my many other talents – like being a renowned face contortionist and possessing the ability to change a diaper blow-out in an airplane bathroom while the child is standing on top of the toilet – I have a knack for finding things or people who pique my interest and I become very exuberant in my love for them. Then I doggedly pursue these things or people until the whole thing has run its course, then I find the next oddball to become obsessed with.
I was trying to remember this morning how I stumbled across the phenomenon known as “Miranda Sings“. I’m not sure. I think one of her videos popped up on that screen that you see after you watch something on YouTube. You know, the screen that offers up ten more videos that are similar to the one you just watched, giving you the opportunity to continue wasting your afternoon looking for clips of Madonna belching in public.
Miranda (whose real name is Colleen) is one of those YouTube stars who actually make money off their channel. I don’t envy that, because to earn a living from YouTube, I’m pretty sure you have to spend at least eighteen hours a day on your computer, email, and social networking sites in order to keep the whole ball rolling. You have to be pretty damn determined to succeed in this way – and good for her, because she actually seems like a very intelligent person and I wish her the best in her YouTube career pursuits. I would only last a week doing what she has to do to keep that big-ass balloon afloat.
I guess that “Miranda Sings” started as a joke between Colleen and her friends. She actually has a very nice singing voice when she is not being Miranda – I believe she was a vocal major at some university in California. She put up a video on YouTube making fun of all the other millions of people who post videos of themselves singing in their bedrooms and thinking they are the next Mariah Carey when they really SUCK. Then somehow that went viral, and here she is, five years later…still pretending to be Miranda and paying her rent with checks from YouTube!!
Here is my most favoritist video from her channel:
I mean, every time I watch this video I laugh out loud. The way she looks at that little girl just kills me.
I also like how Colleen is completely committed to her idiot alter-ego. On her YouTube channel and Twitter feeds, she misspells words, pronounces things wrong, and stays in character through all her public meet and greets. I know this because I’VE MET HER. IN THE FLESH.
Colleen is smart. Much smarter than the regular YouTube personalities who will most likely fade into obscurity in another year. She has turned her Miranda Sings character into a stand-up act. I went to one of her comedy shows here in Salt Lake City, and it was actually REALLY good. Stacia and I bought VIP tickets and took Big Hands with us. Big Hands laughed. Really laughed. And he had never even seen or heard of “Miranda Sings” before the show. Not that Big Hands is qualified to be a comic critic, but the fact that my dad found her hilarious means she has something. It wasn’t just the beer.
After the show, my dad went to take a nap in the car and Stacia and I lined up with the other
teenagers people who paid forty bucks to get their picture taken with Miranda. I figured if we were last in line, we might get a few extra precious moments with her so that she might get to know us a little better. (Oh, I guess I should tell you that we had been bombarding her with tweets from Rap Moms ALL DAY LONG. She probably thought we were completely nuts, which we are.)
As we shuffled forward, I pulled a tube of red lipstick from my purse and informed Stacia we would both be wearing Miranda lips for our pictures with her. It wasn’t hard to convince Stacia this was a good idea, because she is a pretty agreeable person and isn’t afraid to make a fool of herself in public. I also made sure we practiced our Miranda faces before it was our turn to meet her.
I think we’re naturals.
When our turn to meet Miranda arrived,
we I rushed up to Colleen babbling about how we were Rap Moms and we were the ones who had been tweeting her all day, which she knew and she said, “OOOHHHHH, RAP MOMS! I LOVE RAP!”. I decided I liked her even more.
Then we arranged ourselves for pictures with her, and instead of letting her assistant do the picture-taking, I told her I wanted some selfies. And she said in her Miranda voice, “OOOHHHH, SELFIES! I love selfies! I’m the BEST at them!”, so I let her take my phone and we had a great time until her assistant shooed us out the door because we were hogging all her time. Luckily, I remembered to get an autographed picture for my son. He would have been so bummed if I had come home with just a bunch of selfies with Miranda Sings.
I love you,
Colleen Miranda. You’re now considered our homie, even though we only met you for five minutes. Keep up your awesome vocal stylings and your no-porn twerking. Next time you come to Salt Lake City, you must let the Rap Moms take you to breakfast. We can go to my house afterwards and jump on my trampoline. Wearing our lipstick, of course.